I took my last dose of Zyprexa – 1/4 of a 5mg pill – on Sunday, October 9. By Friday, October 14 I was sleeping only 3-4 hours a night, following hours of my mind racing, an increasing heart rate and difficulty holding up my head. The following Monday I saw my doctor, who said I was experiencing an irregular heartbeat – common for anyone who withdraws from a phyiscally addictive med – and that I needed to sleep. After a round of accupuncture, which brought my heart beat back to normal, he loaded me up with Magnesium (to calm my heart in the evenings before bed), GABA (to help me sleep) and Fish Oil and Vitamin D for overal better mental health. The GABA and Magnesium helped instantly, and with my lorazepam I slept 8 hours hours uninterrupted that night – something I hadn’t done in a month.
The actual withdrawal, though, didn’t hit until the 21st and peaked on the 25 – the day after I wrote my last blog post. Until that day, I was functioning – I had dinner with friends, went to the office, etc. But by the end of the end of even those days, I was barely able to keep from passing out. Over the following weekend I turned into mega-bitch and couldn’t swallow a bite of banana without feeling like I was going to puke. I also had no energy to get out of bed on Monday, finally pulling out my Mac to get some work done shortly before dinner. I called my doctor on Tuesday the 25, and he told me that I was in the heart of withdrawal, which would last 3-5 days, though it sounded like I was at the tail end as it was. We talked about making SURE I drank water and ate good food, but otherwise assured me I’d feel fine soon.
He wasn’t joking. The next DAY I felt totally fine. Full appetite, energy, no anxiety upon waking….it was about as normal as I’d felt since first starting meds when I was 16. I took my normal morning dose of lorazepam just to make sure and now, 4 days later, I feel even better. I am calm, relaxed, alert and responsive to social activities and interaction. I don’t even think about meds – or the lack of Zyprexa – at all until I brush my teeth before bed and when I wake up.
I’m also no longer constantly hungry, hungover like a zombie in the morning, or constantly craving sugar and carbs. In fact, in the last week, I constantly lean towards the freshest food available. This was not even a possibility while on Zyprexa. I’m also finding myself zoning out far less. For those who can identify the “cloud” they are in while on Zyprexa, you’ll understand when I say it’s totally lifted. And while I was afraid of missing that “cushion” that kept me in that zombie state, once I got past the worst of the withdrawal, I’ve realized I don’t even need it. I feel like a complete, whole, and calm person. (We’ll see how long that lasts!)
I am still taking 300mg of Lithium a night and 1 mg of lorazepam in morning and night. However, the Lithium does not even show up in blood tests. The lorazepam, however, could be a huge contributing factor to feeling “normal” – especially since anxiety, not a mood disorder, is likely the root of all my problems. I will detail other supplements in the next post.
